» 2014 Bad Joke No. 270

365badjokes:

Which metric unit do you use to measure smell?

A scent-imeter.

REBLOG | Posted 1 day ago With 736 notes + Ori. Via

itsstuckyinmyhead:

Tumblr Loves Halloween 

REBLOG | Posted 1 day ago With 142,827 notes + Ori. Via

pipers reaction to polly and larry is my reaction to polly and larry 

REBLOG | Posted 1 day ago With 222,035 notes + Ori. Via

l-imerence:

Nah

REBLOG | Posted 1 day ago With 38,304 notes + Ori. Via

monalisasvagina:

JungleJim4322@yahoo.com in proper beach attire

REBLOG | Posted 1 day ago With 12,265 notes + Ori. Via

rnadrid:

REBLOG | Posted 2 days ago With 19,986 notes + Ori. Via
When masturbating, have you ever fingered yourself or inserted anything anally?
Anonymous

asian:

Hands are only used for filpping pages of the bible and praying to jesus christ our lord and savior
Amen

REBLOG | Posted 3 days ago With 817 notes + Ori. Via

malijuanastyles:

malijuanastyles:

I think it’s lovely how you can sit in a classroom and visualize having sex with someone and nobody will notice at all

do you know how many angry boys have messaged me about boners because of this post

I let you live once, princess.
I am not a princess.

REBLOG | Posted 3 days ago With 45,268 notes + Ori. Via

officiallyshipped:

Can we all just take a moment and appreciate Deadpool

REBLOG | Posted 3 days ago With 37,725 notes + Ori. Via

inbox:

there is no reason for “sean” to be pronounced “shawn”

sexualbae:

won’t drink lukewarm water but i’ll put another person’s genitals in my mouth

dekutree:

fencehopping:

Chameleon hatching

humans are fucking pathetic look at this little nigga come out of his egg on his own no crying no helpless “wah wah cut my umbilical cord” bullshit he come out and he already on the hunt for reptilian pussy no fear no games. and we’re the evolved species? smh

» THE POWER FLICKERED THREE TIMES

jakeenglish:

theskiesabovelife:

jakeenglish:

IF WE LOSE POWER I’M QUITTING

JUST GIVE ME 20 FUCKIN MINUTES FOR MY CHICKEN NUGGETS TO COOK PLEASE

please

(vegan) I hope your power runs out 

thats fuckin nice and all but the chicken is already in the nuggets. the power going out doesn’t save a chicken. it’s a nugget already. sorry

REBLOG | Posted 3 days ago With 21,989 notes + Ori. Via